I decided earlier in the week that I was going to do something today in honor of my baby girl Jeslyn. Since I've been working on my fitness and getting back to the healthy me again, I decided the best way to do that would be to run a race in her honor. How amazing it was to me when I got an email regarding the Run Like A Mother race being held in Hillsboro, Or...a town very close to us. I consulted Alberto to make sure I wasn't ruining any plans he had made and once he confirmed that I wasn't, I signed up. One of my TV ladies, D, was going to be running the race as well. So, I hooked up with her to let her know I'd be running it as well and she invited me to join her and the group of ladies from her mom's running club that were going to run the race as well.
I woke up at 7am, got myself ready (I made a shirt last night with Jeslyn's name on it to wear), and headed to Hillsboro. It was early and it was chilly, but the sun was shining. It was going to be a gorgeous day to run a race. On the way to the race, I felt so emotional. I cried for my girl, because, I don't want to be missing her and grieving her loss. I want to be celebrating her and getting ready for her arrival. It feels so wrong to be trying to find ways to remember her by...and I hate that I have to run this race today to do that. I just want her here and with me.
When I arrived, I stood in line to check in and get my race packet, and luckily I ran into Dawn. She got checked in and grabbed her race packet as well, and from that point on we were on the clock, waiting for the race to start. We met with the other ladies, talked, used the bathroom (gotta get it out before it's time to run) and took a few pictures to commemorate the occasion. As the start of the race got nearer, I got nervous. It's been a LONG time since I've run a race...almost 5 years. But, I was going to do it...for me, and for Jeslyn. For Isla, too...because although my heart is heavy and I am constantly thinking about my angel baby, I am also her mommy. And she is the baby who first made me a mom...something special, and, I love her endlessly for coming into my life and lighting it up on a daily basis.
About 8:40a, the race began. Boy...those first 10 minutes made me think "why did I do this again?" It takes my body a while to acclimate and get used to what I am doing, so, those first 10 minutes are pure agony. But, once I get my legs under me and they are warmed up, it's on...and it was. At a certain point (I was listening to music, of course - cause who runs without music?) I played Michael Jackson's "Bad", and it gave me the motivational lift I needed to hit my stride and start to really enjoy the run. I sang to myself, I pumped my fists...I was finally "in the zone". I was on a good pace, too, thanks to D. I hugged her closely on the course, staying 3 to 4 steps behind her for about the first half of the race. Once I hit my stride, I just went...and, next thing I knew I passed her and was comfortably cruising through the course. Before I knew it, I was coming up on the school again (where we started, approaching the finish) and I got excited because I knew Alberto and Isla would be there waiting for me. With that thought, I got a boost and started sort of sprinting....hustling towards the track and the finish line. Then, I saw them. I got the biggest smile on my face - I felt so happy to see their faces. I pointed at them and tried as best I could to speed up and finish strong. And I did finish strong...with my hands in the air, thinking about my girl. Once I crossed the finish line, I found Alberto (actually he probably found me - he sprinted to the finish line to take photos of me crossing it) and he walked up to me and hugged me tight. And then, I let it all out and I began to sob. Although I was happy that I'd finished the race, I was sad...I was hurt, and, my heart was bleeding for Jeslyn. I don't know when, but, at a certain point, Alberto let me go (probably to kiss me and look at me) and I fell to my knees and cried for her. I was just overcome with emotion, and, in that moment I felt her there with me. Isla asked me why I was crying, and I told her because I was happy and because I was sad. She saw her mommy crying and she was concerned. So at that point, I tucked Jeslyn in my heart, I pulled myself together, and tended to my child - like a mother would and should do.
Once I was sure that Isla was okay, we decided to indulge in the brunch the race hosted. We ate oragnes, apples, and fruit snacks. Both Alberto and I stashed away animal crackers for later, too. We found a booth with fun balls for Isla to play with, we visited with D and the women I'd started the race with. And, out of no where D comes to me and tells me that I placed in the race. I thought, "WHAT? THAT'S CRAZY!". Not only did I place, but, would you believe it if I told you I also beat my personal record...BY 3 MINUTES and 24 SECONDS? The last time I ran a 5k, I finished in 32:36. Here I am, out of shape, working my way back to the healthy me, and I beat my PR...blow it out of the water, really. Apparently, I finished 3rd out of 18 people in my age group (24-29), and 54th out of 315 participants. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. They were going to give out awards for those that placed so we stayed for that and once I got my award, we made our way home.
The rest of the day was pretty quiet...I called my mom, we took a family nap, we played outside for a while. And, Alberto made us my favorite for dinner - shrimp scampi with linguine. SO GOOD. Oh, and I ate about 1lb of gummy bears. Those were good, too. All in all it was an emotional and tough day for me. But, considering the circumstances, it was as perfect a Mother's Day as I could've had.
Thank you Alberto and Isla...you make my world shine and my life worth living. I love you both to the ends of the earth <3
PS - here are a few photos from the race and from our day
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| My girl and me <3 |
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| 3rd Place...and that ain't bad. |
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| Two of my favorites...fresh flowers and gummy bears! |
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| Isla's gift...I LOVE the butterfly painting <3 |
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| Such a delicious dinner...thanks for cooking babe! |
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